Be gone from me

Not everyone has been good to me.

Homely little book

I spend a lot of time on this blog talking about how important my friends are to me and how grateful I am to have them in my life. And I talk about the joy I get from making things for people I love.  But the other side of that is, of course, the friends and former loved ones who have hurt me. Badly.

Not talking about the way we can unintentionally hurt those we love. I'm talking about the people who hurt those who care about them with intent. With selfishness.

Coptic stitching in the folio center

For some reason I couldn't sleep last night. The pain of being used, lied to, ignored, judged and rejected by people I've loved hovered over my bed, pressing down on me when I tried to rest. Making it hard to breathe. I have no idea why. But I was reliving the hurt and shock of several events in my past.

So I got up and finished stitching up the coptic binding of the little book I made in the workshop earlier in the day. And as I was working on the homely little thing, fighting off the bleakness of my thoughts, I came upon the idea of binding these people and events up in the book and putting them far away from me, where they can't touch me. And that brought me a weird solace.

Sewn, coptic binding

The book itself is just a draft, an exercize in how to make a book. My first one. And now it has another purpose. Good bye to those who chose to be selfish and intentionally hurt me.

Stitching at 3 am

Be gone.

Far away from our regularly scheduling programing... Coptic bookbinding

Well, maybe not THAT far.

Stitching something different

It involves stitching, after all.

Preparing matt board for awl work

I decided to take a Coptic bookbinding workshop last minute this morning through a group called Jack's Crafts. Just wanted to play with a new, completely unfamiliar creative endeavor. I didn't have many supplies, but they were mostly provided by the workshop group and The Scrap Exchange, where it was held.

I loved piercing paper and matt board with sharp awls. I felt tough! But mostly, I loved stitching the binding together.

Finishing my binding chez moi

Thinking forward and plotting my text-based, stitched sketchbook for The 2012 Sketchbook project for the Arthouse project. I have the moleskin sketchbook that they sent, but since mine with be mostly a textile sketchbook and predominately stitched, I've been researching different ways of binding it all together.  Coptic binding may be the answer.

So happy to use needle and thread!

In the meantime, working on the Phat Quarter piece and exploring other ways of being creative, too. Have been cooking for the first time in many years. Feeding friends and colleagues is surprisingly joyful!

Chopping jalepenos

Even started growing herbs: basil, for cooking, and French lavender for the overwhelming, sensual experience. I wish I could share the dense aroma via this blog!

Sauteing ground turkey for a Thai dish

Next up... attempting to bake my very first Key Lime pie for a beautiful friend who grew up in Florida for whom this is a favorite. (This small New Yorker feels the pressure, in a thrilling way, to master this regional specialty.) Cooking is like stitching. Very methodical and slow, but with so much room for creativity.

Key limes and orchid blossoms

Does anyone else feel that making things for the people we care about and sharing our passion for our senses are among the most pleasurable things in the world?